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Anything you can do...
Written by: Drew-sta (Bluebags)Nov 27, 2009 9:46pm
John O’Neill slammed his fist down on the table, muttering curses under his breath. He threw The Daily Telegraph across the room; the thin, tabloid newspaper floating to the ground to lay with the front page up. On it was the face of Brett Stewart after his recent axing due to alcohol abuse and the sexual assault allegations.
“Lote, get your ass in here!”
Lote trundled in, careful not to tread on the newspaper.
“Yes, Mr O’Neill?”
“Lote, those bloody league-nuts have done it again,” O’Neill blustered, waving his hands in a comical display of frustration and his face erupting into the colour of a beetroot.
“I’m not sure I quite follow you, Mr O’Neill,” Lote answered, a confused expression crossing his face.
“Brett Stewart has run the games reputation through the mud with his actions and Anthony Watmough has embarrassed both his club and sponsors.”
“THAT’S EXACTLY MY POINT!” O’Neill exploded, jumping to his feet and waving his hands above his head.
“They’re always in the bloody newspapers! They’re always getting publicity! They’re always on top, Lote! We’re losing the PR battle, don’t you realise?”
“S-S-Sir, they’re disgraces to their game! How can we be losing?” Lote stammered.
“Haven’t you heard the old saying ‘There’s no such thing as bad publicity?’”
O’Neill’s face was shifting between a deep purple and an angry red. Flecks of spit were at the side of his mouth. Lote also noticed that John wasn’t wearing any pants, and instead it seemed as though he sat at his desk in Superman boxer shorts.
“Those bloody Leaguers, always grabbing the media spotlight. Why does David Gallop get to be the man in the spotlight all the time?”
“I’m not so sure he enjoys that role Mr O’Neill,” Lote answered.
“In any case, we should be proud that Rugby Union has such a clean bill.”
“That’s all rubbish Lote,” O’Neill replied, sitting down and returning to a semblance of sanity.
“Half the Wallabies are out getting pissed off their nut each week. The issue is no-one in Australia KNOWS who plays for the Wallabies, so the press don’t give a rats when the police reports are filtered through."
"McLean! Get your resigning ass in here!”
In a split second, a beady eyed, hunched man limped through the doorway.
“Yesssss, my master. What is your bidding?”
“McLean, you need to come up with some sort of media-grabbing PR stunt. You know, something like when we convinced Wendell to take cocaine. Man, we got weeks of publicity out of that.”
O’Neill’s eyes lit up and he looked over to the tall Wallaby, still standing in his office, “Say, Lote, you don’t happen to enjoy a line or two do you?”
“Of course not!” choked a shocked and dismayed Tuquiri.
“I can’t believe you’re suggesting I take drugs just to boost the publicity of Rugby Union!”
O’Neill grunted in disappointment before turning back to McLean. “What are you thinking would be good?”
McLean thought for a second, before a smile crept across his face and he began to wring his hands together in glee. “Yesssss sir, I have an idea. I think I have it!”
“Well, spit it out!” O’Neill answered, leaning forward in excitement.
“We’ll e-mail our members…” McLean began, his voice wobbling with excitement.
“…and invite them to come to the Tooheys Tah Bar. It is most conniving.”
“You idiot, that’s not going to get anyone’s attention,” O’Neill fired back, the insult acting like a physical blow to McLean, who flinched back from the negative comment.
“Unless…”
O'Neill let out an evil laugh.
"Gallop will never see this one coming."
---
David Gallop picked up his morning newpaper off the front lawn and meandered back into his house. Sitting back with his morning cuppa and a piece of toast, he turned a few pages in and was surprised to see an article about the ARU. Reading it, he couldn't help but chuckle.
"ARU e-mails kids, inviting them to the Toohey's Tah Bar for a few pre-game drinks." Gallop, after reading aloud the summary, grabbed his mobile phone and started to make a call.
"Yep, Ricky. How are you? I'm good mate. Look, John O'Neill is at it again, and I need to ask you a favour. You know Brett Seymour? I was wondering if you could get him to do something for me..."
Posted in the F7s Matches forum 25-March-2009
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